After a strong start, I was bound to trip up.
That said, an analysis of this weekend based on mood swings, drinking habits and my appetite would suggest that essentially I am still a little bit depressed. Moan moan moan... Stick to what you know, right? Right. I wish I wasn't working a job that I hate, I wish I could have taken more chances at University, I wish I had got a better degree, I wish all my disappointments weren't so CRUSHINGLY INEVITABLE... But eh, what can you do? Change is the prelude to progress after all.
Even though sat at a desk in an office is still pretty much the personal hell I'll be headed to when I shuffle off my mortal coil, at least it's paying. Thanks to last month's timely tax return, I managed to surface out of my overdraft for the fist time in almost 5 years, and with the incoming hours on top of the usual stipendiary joyes will mean that I'll be shot of it for some distance. Last week I completed a financial forecast for the year based on guaranteed income only, that is employment until two week's time, the concert in November and then no real additional income for after Christmas. I'm sure there'll be patches of work that turn up, and maybe additional gigs like weddings and even stuff like Carol singing and playing at Late Night Shopping this year, but for now I can only bet on what I actually know will come in, and it's not looking too bad! I'd even hazard to say things were finally looking pretty rosy. Next year is next year of course, so I'll need to wait before I can do any sort of long term planning... But it looks like I'll be able to finally get away without causing any lasting damage to my credit rating.
As you may or may not know, I made some moves to apply for the MA in Professional Writing at Falmouth University at the end of August. After a huge flurry in two days, the course leader went on Holiday for the following week and then... Everything went dark. I've been waiting for a call back so I can apply to the full time course, but there's been absolutely nothing, so ... Yeah. Ringing up at the end of August to enroll in a September course is a bit of a joke though. Trying to raise the money to fund the course in what would have been just under a fortnight might have proved to be slightly impossible as well... So... What? I'm going to apply properly in January for next year, which will allow me adequate time to put all my material together and apply for that critical funding and bursaries and such. I've already said to The Boss that I intend to stay at least until the end of the 15/16 season before moving anywhere for anything else, and I had rather hoped that doing an MA this year would have been not only good to take up the time between services, but also a good use of that time as well. Focus on method (not just madness), gaining insights to the industry and getting some professional contact is exactly what my life needs, in both singing and writing. Funnily enough, I feel far more comfortable in promoting my writing than my singing, I suppose that's the battle I've picked.
That leaves me this year at a kind of loose end! Leaving off in the application gives me a little more time to get at least one more concert under the belt before January and then all three plus any more work in between (I wonder who I can get to employ me. Tell your concert organising friends. Tell them all.) like the Welcome Pack and anything else that might come my way. And all this, of course. Practice makes perfect, even if perfection can only be found through imperfection. Or something?
What's happened in these past three days since I last posted though? Well, maybe you happie soules will find a few more dispatches. I have a plan to frame most of next week, which will happily include Banjo playing. I hope none of you are too precious about Bach now...
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