Hercules

Thanks to the miracles that are Cardinal Sin and cheap ticket night at The Plaza, Truro, I've managed to see four major films this summer, which easily equals the last three years put together.  Transformers: Age of Extinction, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Guardians of the Galaxy, and now most recently Hercules, starring none other than Dwayne Johnson, the world's henchest man.  Some spoilers ahead.

As we drew into the final set piece, popcorn long finished and the ice liquidising in my medium Pepsi, it struck me that Hercules is probably the best Dungeons and Dragons or Fire Emblem film we're gonna get.  Now, before you mobilise with pitchforks and torches, just hear me out, okay?  I mean, think about how well received the actual D&D film was... I remember watching about half an hour of that particular debacle and deciding that perhaps we should leave it for dead, but no, the venerable institution of tabletop has thankfully survived... But the direct-to-DVD sequels have definitely disappeared without a trace.  I'll go out on a limb here and assume that most people are familiar with the typical D&D set-up: character stat sheets, citadel miniatures, the Dungeon Master and of course, the Dice bag.  FE, on the other hand...

Fire Emblem is one of Nintendo's oldest franchises, the first installment of which was released in April, 1990, and saw its most   It's a turn based strategy game with a core cast of characters who stay with you the entire campaign.  One of the abiding concepts in FE is permadeath - if a unit falls, that's it.  Goodbye.  The setting is always in the confines of the usual swords 'n sorcery, so knights, mounted cavalry and mages abound.  You know, spells and shit.  There's an element of emotional investment in these games as well, as even though you can end up with a grand cast, it isn't possible to field a large army.  Instead, you end up with a core team of heavyweights and critical hitters, backed up by healers and perhaps even some kind of bard or dancer, that by the end of the campaign face an enemy force that can be up to four or five times the size.  Instead of a DM, the narrative, following the usual kind of "deposed prince seeks justice for his murdered parents by overturning the corrupt warlord and their armies" thing is delivered by the script and progressed through out of battle dialogue.  While I won't get into the nuts and bolts of the weapon system, suffice to say that each major weapon, spears, axes and swords, are represented in your party, with at least one archer for long range support.

Names for places, characters and items (especially magic tomes and weapons) are taken from legend, with Norse mythology being a particularly rich vein in recent years, but references to the tales of Ancient Greece and Mesopotamian Gods turn up just as much.  The titular Emblem is a McGuffin.  Sometimes it's a shield, upgraded by the addition of certain gems, other times it's a royal heirloom and key to an ancient shrine, and yet still it can even be a medallion that houses the soul of a dread Goddess.  Your main character, a "Lord" is the protagonist of the show, who packs their own unique character model and weaponry, often with special stat bonuses.  Instead of the dice roll, stats and battles are governed by a clever piece of robot brain called the Random Number Generator.  What does all this have to do with Hercules though?

Personally, I thought Hercules was great.  A really solid and entertaining Adventure film, the likes of which hasn't been in fashion for years and years.  Beginning with a montage of a few of 'the' Labours, The Nemean Lion, the Hydra &c, the film opens with a battle against pirates who have been listening to the story as told by a young man trussed up, in certain bodily peril.  The camera cuts to Johnson, stood backlit wearing loincloth and a lion's head, which immediately sets the tone.  Battle ensues, and we see that Herc is part of a well oiled and tactically deployed team, each with their own personalities and fighting styles.  The young storyteller is the ragtag group's bard, and Hercules' nephew, who struggles to find a place for his words in a decidedly physical outfit.  The film continues with a short origin composed of the more well known elements of Hercules' early life, sired by the King of the Gods, and the strangling of snakes, sticking to the 12A classification, of course.  Turns out that Hercules has retired from any kind of public celebrity, and is trolling around with a bunch of mercenaries to escape his troubled past (look, I didn't say it wasn't cliched), working jobs like removing pirates to raise enough to travel to the far side of the Black Sea, and live a life of solitude, away from his Demons.  Classic solitary Hero story.  Before the group can decide what sort of job to look for next, Rebecca Ferguson appears as Ergenia, an emissary from Lord Cotys, the King of Thrace, to employ this happy band.

Let's get this straight, Dwayne Johnson is enormous.  There's no suspension of disbelief needed here.  Thankfully, his ability to sell this kind of material seems to be improving as well, after such shambles as The Scorpion King and Doom.  He was also, in my opinion, the best part of 2009's Race to Witch Mountain remake; if anything he was only half the man then that he is now, merely through muscle mass.  He's a real pleasure on screen in this, almost tricking us in thinking that this is deadly serious, before another tightly choreographed action set piece kicks off  and he gets to bust some heads.  One particular battle is fought against an army of tattooed men painted green with huge beards.  One can only imagine the casting call for that scene; System Of A Down impersonators need only apply.

 The supporting rest of this crack team draw their names straight from the pages of myth too, their names and defining weaponry reading like a Fire Emblem roster even on Wikipedia: A knife wielding thief in Rufus Sewell's Autolycus; a wisecracking spear fighter with a sideline as a prophet of his own certain doom, and arguably the outfit's Jeigan/Oifey in Ian McShane's Amphiaraus; a female archer (arguably Sniper), complete with the dreadful and moulded breastplate from Ingrid Bolsø Berdal's Atalanta; Askel Hennie's Tydeus, the silent axe-wielding berserker; Iolanus the Bard, played by Reece Ritchie... And of course, our eponymous hero, the Lord, complete with his own perfectly ranked Club. Sorry, I'm way off point here.

Hercules is haunted by the spectre of tragedy that he can't quite remember, that resulted in him being banished from Athens on pain of death.  Snippets are revealed to us usually in dreams or in particular an extended flashback scene, normally heralded by the appearance of Cerberus, the subject of the 12th classic Labour.  It isn't until the final battle that we find out the truth, but I won't spoil it as it's part of what little character development Johnson has to deal with, rather than being the brutal giant he is in fights.  Speaking of fights, the one with the green beardy men happens about halfway through, which is a decent 'this is how all of our unique and interesting warriors fight' sequence, complete with a simply hilarious chariot attack.  The aftermath of this particular battle is less than successful for the good guys, which results in what can only be described as a training montage, while John Hurt's Cotys looks around for more scenery to chew as if hamming was going out of fashion (like it ever will).  The training scene does actually work because it's an entire army being trained rather than one man, and at least the thrilling action movie score isn't overwhelming.  Each of the characters leads a specific class though, and once you see the men hold a shield wall you know it's time for the next battle, although I was left wondering just how many soldiers portrayed were actually real.

Moving towards the final act, the tables begin to turn.  No scene is left unmarred by Cotys' dentures here, as the corruption in the Tracian government is finally revealed, and our heroes must make a stand... But not before Autolycus does a runner.  Herc and the gang are imprisoned in a castle dungeon, and the turning point comes when Amphiaraus encourages Hercules to embrace his destiny and destroy the three-headed dog that has haunted him thus far.  I doubt that seeing Johnson tear iron divots out of rock to loose his chains had to be faked in any way.  Freed and armed once more, the reunited band take the fight upwards through the castle, knocking out countless faceless grunts along the way.  Even Iolanus gets a kill here, enjoying victory over an arrogant foe.  Having already simplistically touched on my favourite question, "what is a Nation", the final battle is pitched, marked by heroic sacrifice.  They fight to liberate a people from a corrupt king, hell bent on establishing a huge empire backed by a uniformed army of faceless grunts and titled generals.  Autolycus suddenly reappears in a convincing but ultimately unsurprising reveal, and conveniently, a bottomless pit appears and then returns to nowhere as an easy disposal method; victory is assured for our heroes.  They are our protagonists, after all.  Well... The ones who had spoken lines, that is.  The credits are a stylish rendition in 3D of how the Labours against the Hydra, the Lion and the Erymanthian Boar (all of which we saw conquered alone at the start of the picture) were won by the team working together.  

I'm not sure if there was any real, profound message behind this film.  There probably isn't.  It doesn't matter.  Clear themes of family, brotherhood, only the bad guys torture anyone... Oh, and that you too can be a man mountain, but only if you shut yourself away and train for eight months.  It plays on the fact that actually this Hercules is mortal, and the team dynamic allows the supporting cast to bounce off Johnson's hero, without anything seeming too stodgy or really, forced.  There might not be any great zingers in the script, but it's... It's okay, you know!  Functional without being too workmanlike.  It may be big, but it isn't that clever, and really I think it scores a higher win because of it.  If you actually had to think about a Hercules film seriously, it would more likely sink under its own weight.  In fact, without its lead in The Rock, even this outing may have suffered, but his charisma carries through, just.  There are times when the more senior cast members must have ruined takes with their audible sighing and eye rolling, but the sheer entertainment value of watching Johnson punch a hay cart into three screaming men armed with giant gutting hooks is not to be underestimated.

Like I said though, the fact it doesn't take itself too seriously is the saving grace.  It's what's wrong with major franchises being translated onto screen.  When people hold the subject matter as sacred it starts to get a bit intense (although not even I can forgive the whitewashing of Khan Noonien Singh), making sure every single element is represented (which can simply make a film too busy) and people start getting angry, and it tends to get in the way of actually making an enjoyable and entertaining film, God alone knows how Marvel seem to have cracked it (even if they had to change Bruce Banner) for their fiercely-loved properties.  Maybe this will get a sequel?  Maybe not.  The door for such is left ajar at the end, but it works as a little standalone thing, a summer blockbuster all in one, as they adventure off into the ancient Greek sunset.