Object lesson: What's your trademark?

Sherlock Holmes had his pipe.  Dorothy had her red shoes.  Batman has his Batmobile.  If we asked your friends what object they would most immediately associate with you, what would they say?

I don't think it's so much an object that people would immediately associate with me, more part of my appearance: The Sideburns.  Off an on for the last 5 years I've had...interesting facial hair.  Originally, it comes from jumping at freedom, I suppose, but more and more it has become the defining characteristic of my look.

Now, I was seeing this girl for the whole of the two years of my VIth form.  Among many other thousands of things that were said to me by her was a particular statement that denied me any sort of facial hair.  Now, of course it's a sensible idea to shave if, like me, you could not have raised any respectable kind of facial decoration... And I'm actually going to weigh in and say it was a fine idea for the time as well!  But it was the fact that I was told.  I had to be clean shaven.  It grated on me.  So... after the first "I don't think we should see each other" salvo was fired (like Han, I shot first), I decided to leave my face alone.  Razor blades and shaving foam left on the side.  Over Christmas, hostilities came to a head and it really did end, and I still hadn't shaved.  Returning to my second term of my first year at University, I had held out... Even with my long, long hair, that fell about my shoulders.  For those who know what I looked like in those days, it truly was ridiculous.

Eventually I saw sense (or more accurately saw how dreadful my reflection was), and decided to take it off again, bit by bit.  For whatever reason, I left my cheeks til last... And decided that actually, it looked good.  Alright alright over there, I know you disagree.  Some people have badgered me to remove them for my "own sake", or whatever, but as time has gone on I've been able to decide for myself more and more.  

Off and on over the next four years, I removed them every few months and let them grow back from fresh.  Now, I keep them and trim them with either a little electric razor or scissors, and always with a comb.  When Choir went on their recent trip to Sweden, I had my head almost shaved but left the chops wildly long.  They're a neat identifier as well, as picking me out in the line up on the BBC's broadcast about our staging of the 1880 Nine Lessons and Carols is as easy as it gets.  Sideburns?  Yep, there I am!  Obviously, the goal is to one day graduate to an epic and well clipped beard like our Senior Lay Vicar, because yes of course he is my pattern.  No nonsense singing, decorus but mucking about in the off minutes, and no bloody prancing about.  There are some great pictures, actually, of him, me, and my chops in profile from Christmas 2013 that I really must get hold of.

The chops are an important part of my aesthetic at the moment.  Will I keep them?  Who knows.  Probably some woman will make them into a deal breaker and I'll fold because let's face it... I always fold first.  They are part and parcel though, alongside the hair that Walken would be proud of, the suit that'll outlive me, the paisley and all that bloody jewelry I wear and have given away.  Oh well!  I will say one thing though, that having sideburns makes it a hell of a lot easier to draw me...