The Five Feature Length Showings of Darkness (part 1) - Central Intelligence

Once upon a time (a time, a time, a time, once upon a time when the world was round) when I actually wrote regularly and wasn't afraid of either the blank page or actually saying anything that might be considered ever so slightly controversial (look how far I've gone backwards... But more on that another time), I gave an honest stab at trying to write film reviews.  As I slowly remember how to type 1000 words plus without suddenly having an existential crisis and leaving it forever to rot in my ever growing store of unpublished drafts, here's an account of the last five films I've been to see this summer...

Central Intelligence (2016)

Beneath the surface of this lighthearted vehicle for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, so-called the most bankable star in Hollywood, now a whole human being rather than half a special effect, lies the shadow of what might be.  The plot follows Hart's character, formerly beloved top of the class High School valedictorian turned small time accountant going through the beginnings of a mid-life crisis.  Suddenly, a facebook message from Johnson, playing a CIA agent who may or may not have gone rogue changes everything as they go on a madcap hour and a half to save the world.  While this is no great cinematic epic, there are some neat touches sprinkled throughout that raise this from a mere by-the-numbers action comedy.  The first we see of Johnson is through the magic of a CG fat suit, at the High School senior assembly where he is thrown naked into the school gym in front of the graduating year.  The image of this fat Rock is reflected back at us in a glass office door when the dynamic duo go and see the bully who was behind the original naked humiliation, played by Jason Bateman, who after pretending to be born again Christian turns out to be the same old bully he ever was.  At the end of the film, however, when Hart manages to persuade The Rock to come to the High School reunion (after saving the world, of course), where in a fit of acceptance of what he was (a fat special effect) to what he is (a huge body builder), he strips off naked.  To the side of the stage stands a mirror, which now just reflects the actual man mountain.  The emotional messages come in pretty heavy handed - bullies are bad, good people can change but bad people stay bad, accepting yourself &c &c... A dark heart beats underneath this "zany" romp though - Johnson's character has been out of contact with Hart's for 20 years; as the film progresses, we find that he has not only kept Hart's Senior Jacket all this time, but rides the exact same motorbike he had, constantly brings up stories of Hart's achievements at school - 20 years of body building and CIA training... to find his worshipped school hero?  20 years spent modelling himself on the memory of an idol.  Really?  Things get brushed under the carpet as part of a little throwaway joke but... The seeds are there (and have found a more fertile ground in my nihilist ways than this film ever could be).  Perhaps The Rock is this generation's Schwarzenegger?  This excellent article makes a case for a career trajectory that Johnson seems to be matching in terms of media presence and sheer identity.  He'll be starring in Disney's Moana soon enough, lending his voice to, well, a big Samoan Demi-God covered in tattoos.  Seems legit.  Oh, yeah; an inflatable gorilla makes for the best Chekov's gun I've ever seen.