Roses are Red

We all know what today is.  The world's greatest Hallmark moment, legitimised by capitalism... Ahhh, there's nothing like being cynical.  I, of course, have an extremely checkered relationship with the implications of this date and also with relationships anyway, and I'm sure we'll be investigating this further as I claw my way out of this soul crushing depression I'm struggling with, inch by inch.  

However, it is Valentine's day after all.  We should be celebrating the values of love and tenderness... unless it's not, obviously.  I broke stride on twitter last night after reading this midget gem of hilarity:

"Roses are crabs
Violets are crabs
Haha there are crabs everywhere lol
Oh god this isn't a joke anymore where did they all come from"

What can I say.  It inspired me.  What follows here is what happened next... At least I was enjoying myself.  At one point I seem to visit the outskirts of word salad? 

Roses are red
My tongue is blue
Is it fatal?
Oh God

Roses are red,
But white grapes are green.
Time to unlearn
Everything you've seen.

Roses are grey
Violets are grey
Everything is grey.
I wish I wasn't colourblind

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I forgot the safeword
Fuck.

Roses are red
Violets are helicopter
Grand soapbox wrenches
Inclement weather

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If only you had original thoughts
And treated me like a human being
*sigh*

Roses are red,
Violets are fuchsia.
They're not always blue.
Idiot.

Roses are red,
Violets aren't cheap;
I wonder, in which of these lyrics
Do you think I'm playing for keeps?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
If only it wasn't inappropriate
To be in love with you.

Roses are red,
I'm tired of this game;
Inside I am dead,
And no longer feel shame.

Hmm.  That took a dark turn.  Woo.

Happy Valentine's Day, suckas.