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The Five Feature Length: Star Trek Beyond

Star Trek Beyond (2016)

Alright you guys let's put this Into The Wrath of Khan's Darkness rubbish to bed once and for all...*

Did you know they've released a new Star Trek film?  No?  I mean, I didn't until I heard a rumour about a trailer, mere months, only moments before the release ("Hey this trailer looks great, when is this out... July?!").  Here's the thing: It's quite good.  After 2013's author-enraging mess that was Star Trek Into Darkness (the tactic of losing the colon after the franchise name is novel but worthwhile), a nostalgia grab that borders on shameless parody and certainly not my Khan, this theatre-length episode of Season Four of the original characters, initially portrayed by Shatner, Nimoy et al., is quietly brilliant and definitely one of the better films of the franchise as a whole.  You could even think of this as the Star Trek we need right now.  Spoilers throughout, yo.

Okay, maybe I'm a little too invested in all of this.  Right?  This film is a much more able successor to 1982's seminal Wrath of Khan both tonally and in its plot.  Let's get to our modern action blockbuster checklist though... Hey!  The deadly weapon at the end which hangs above everyone's heads in the final moments... DOESN'T GLOW!  Anyway, this film is a sunny day compared to its eternally damned prequel, and suspiciously free of universe breaking plot-holes.  The premise is simple - after the destruction of the Enterprise, the crew must work together to defeat the seemingly unstoppable alien menace of Krall, who hates all that the United Federation of Planets stands for, and wants only to see its destruction.  Right?  Pretty easy, sorta villain-of-the-week format, right?  Right?!?!

I've read in countless 'tipz 4 writers' that if you get stuck in your novel, take drastic action and kill someone.  Kill the main character!  And so does this film.  In the opening moments, Kirk's monologue includes the term "episodic", riffing on the fact there's a new franchise supporting tentpole block buster film out every two months at a minimum, or that there are so many episodes of Star Trek (this year is the 50th anniversary after all) or just blah blah isn't everything safe and normal for us now.  The following crash-landing of escape pods and one proton torpedo (The Search for Scotty?) on the alien planet also gives us an epic saucer section crash money shot.  The crew get split up and this basically turns into a buddy episode, with the nameless and faceless army of extras posing as the starship crew captured pretty much straight away, and the main characters pair off in "unexpected" ways - Spock and McCoy are the breakout couple in the film... Unless you've seen any other, older Star Trek films that is, anyway.

Actually, a word about Spock: A week before seeing this film, I had started and finished William Shatner's latest book, Leonard.  This is neither the time or place to debate the what really stopped them from talking and whether Shatner's account really is the truth, but it brings the incredible life and talent of Leonard Nimoy into sharp focus.  He died from complications due to COPD, after a career as an actor, writer and photographer that spanned 60 years in 2015, while this film was starting pre-production.  After cameo appearances as "Spock Prime" in the last two films, it wouldn't be too much of a leap to suggest that he would do so again, but, alas.  Early on in the film, Quinto's Spock is taken quietly aside by Vulcan Ambassadors and told the news, which initially causes him to decide to leave Starfleet at the conclusion of this mission - but don't worry folks, he doesn't!  At the end of the film though, he is handed some of old Spock's most important belongings - including a photo of the original cast in their red uniforms with the fold down panel, probably from Star Trek IV or V.

As the film goes on we learn scraps about our mystery villain, Krall.  There's no fakeout here (thinking about it the John Harrison/Khan flip is as obvious and bad as Arkham Knight/Jason Todd), as Krall is an original character with an interesting past, which lines him up better with a Khan figure (especially the character of Ricardo Montalban's Khan) - the former military commander Balthazar Edison, from before the Federation federated, who was given a starship to captain after the end of galactic conflict, is lost through a wormhole, crashes on the planet and then uses the life-preserving technology of the previous inhabitants to become the monstrous enemy.  This references (and goes on to further homage) the ill-fated Enterprise, the only (so far and hopefully ever) part of the franchise to have a song as the opening title music.  In making him a new character rather than "borrowing" him from the Prime timeline, the film succeeds in the same way that the original series did - taking contemporary issues and throwing them far into the future.  Rather than the generic Nero of the first film of the rebooted series, Krall is on a mission to destroy the Federation, not just Kirk or Spock or some other revenge plot, no, he's out for the whole thing, ideology and all.  A war veteran who feels deserted by the very establishment he fought to establish, he feels that the diversity and peace has weakened the resolve of the once-great civilization he fought for, and it must be stopped.  As the final act tears on, his appearance gradually changes back to a more human visage, revealing him to be DUN DUN DUNN none other than fan-favourite Idris Elba, who ends up losing the climactic Zero-G tussle with Chris Pine for the deadly disintegrating weapon.  

There are some really smart homages as well, and I couldn't let this feature length write up of a feature length episode go without mentioning at least some...

• Much like the Wrath of Khan, the opening act includes Kirk's birthday; instead of just getting old though, this timeline's Kirk is now older than his father was at his death (at the start of the first rebooted film).
• The climactic battle involves a space station at the edge of a nebula, in which hilariously The Beastie Boys are referred to as "classical music" (best gag that people didn't get).
• The station is named after the first draft name for the Enterprise, instead named Yorktown.
• The poster that I've used for the post image is a direct homage to a poster used for Star Trek: The Motion Picture (see here).
• The USS Franklin, dug out of the cliff is an NX class, same as NX-01 from Enterprise, which holds the uniforms with the coloured shoulders and flipped Red/Blue rank indicators.
• The MACO military organization that Edison was part of is also from Enterprise
• Kirk refuses a promotion to Admiral, to which the commanding officer or the Yorktown agrees, saying that it is his "First, best destiny" to captain the Enterprise (more Wrath of Khan)
• After the destruction of the Enterprise and the "borrowing" of the Franklin, the film ends with the crew departing on the newly minted NCC-1701-A, mirroring the construction of the new Enterprise at the end of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

I give this film lots of thumbs up, or whatever.  In the great and unquestionable order of all things, I place this as my third favourite Trek film, behind Star Trek IV in second and The Wrath of Khan as the undisputed champion.

*No, I will never leave it alone.  Bite me.
(Update: The photo Spock is given is a cast photo from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier)

The Five Feature Length Showings - Ghostbusters

Ghostbusters (2016)

Another release, another reboot.  Or is it?  The weird chronology of the film seems to suggest both; to quote the director, Paul Feig: ' “30 years ago, four scientists saved New York,” it declares. “This summer, a new team will answer the call.”'... So that clears that one up.  The controversy that surrounded the development and release of this film is proof that we can't have nice things - if it wasn't enough people swearing this would ruin everything forever (a phrase more commonly associated with the Transformers franchise), there's been a slew of online attacks against one of the stars of the piece, Leslie Jones.  How does this happen?  What is people's problem?  Jeez... Anyway, who's seen the original Ghostbusters?  The 1984 classic that introduced the phrase "this man has no dick" to the world?  Here's the spoiler "du jour" - they might as well be the same film.  32 years is a long time in pop culture, true, but there are also video media that last for that time too, just ask anyone buying Disney VHS tapes on eBay, or trying to find a LaserDisc player to watch those huge discs on.  I'm not trying to criticise the film directly for it (maybe a little), but they could have done something original with the premise.  Three white people with science and engineering based skills team up with a black person who has "street smarts" (or whatever you're calling it these days) set up a ghost hunting agency with a secretary of the opposite gender to them, have some success, the Mayor's office try to shut them down, and the finale is a battle against a gigantic antagonist who wreaks a swathe of destruction through New York City.  Oh yeah, sure, you say, but this time they have the regulation massive glowing portal!  Ho ho!  It's in the ground here rather than in the sky, and something in the back of my mind says there's a reference to the rescue at the end of Pacific Rim in there.

The stand-out performance that rescues this from pleasant mediocrity is Kate McKinnon as Jillian Holtzmann.  McKinnon is a treasure and her hilarious and rightfully unapologetic performance is a shining beacon in every scene she's in.  Chris Hemsworth is another surprise standout playing the dumb blonde receptionist trope to breaking point, at one point trying to answer the phone in an empty fish tank, another showing of topless modelling pictures of himself with non-sequitur props.  It looks like Hemsworth is having the time of his life chewing through scenery left right and centre, including the inevitable possession by the big bad near the end.  Some of the original cast make cameo appearances, including Dan Aykroyd who might as well be an old Ray Stantz, retired to cab driving.  I feel cruel in boiling it down, but this film sometimes feels like the answer to the question "What would happen if we crossed Bridesmaids with Ghostbusters?"  The stars align: Female SNL alumni in a team film vs the regulation portal that dominates the finale of action/comic book movies.  There are some truly hilarious, laugh out loud moments, granted, but in a world with no Dana, how could there be Zuul?

The Five Feature Length Showings of Darkness (part 1) - Central Intelligence

Once upon a time (a time, a time, a time, once upon a time when the world was round) when I actually wrote regularly and wasn't afraid of either the blank page or actually saying anything that might be considered ever so slightly controversial (look how far I've gone backwards... But more on that another time), I gave an honest stab at trying to write film reviews.  As I slowly remember how to type 1000 words plus without suddenly having an existential crisis and leaving it forever to rot in my ever growing store of unpublished drafts, here's an account of the last five films I've been to see this summer...

Central Intelligence (2016)

Beneath the surface of this lighthearted vehicle for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, so-called the most bankable star in Hollywood, now a whole human being rather than half a special effect, lies the shadow of what might be.  The plot follows Hart's character, formerly beloved top of the class High School valedictorian turned small time accountant going through the beginnings of a mid-life crisis.  Suddenly, a facebook message from Johnson, playing a CIA agent who may or may not have gone rogue changes everything as they go on a madcap hour and a half to save the world.  While this is no great cinematic epic, there are some neat touches sprinkled throughout that raise this from a mere by-the-numbers action comedy.  The first we see of Johnson is through the magic of a CG fat suit, at the High School senior assembly where he is thrown naked into the school gym in front of the graduating year.  The image of this fat Rock is reflected back at us in a glass office door when the dynamic duo go and see the bully who was behind the original naked humiliation, played by Jason Bateman, who after pretending to be born again Christian turns out to be the same old bully he ever was.  At the end of the film, however, when Hart manages to persuade The Rock to come to the High School reunion (after saving the world, of course), where in a fit of acceptance of what he was (a fat special effect) to what he is (a huge body builder), he strips off naked.  To the side of the stage stands a mirror, which now just reflects the actual man mountain.  The emotional messages come in pretty heavy handed - bullies are bad, good people can change but bad people stay bad, accepting yourself &c &c... A dark heart beats underneath this "zany" romp though - Johnson's character has been out of contact with Hart's for 20 years; as the film progresses, we find that he has not only kept Hart's Senior Jacket all this time, but rides the exact same motorbike he had, constantly brings up stories of Hart's achievements at school - 20 years of body building and CIA training... to find his worshipped school hero?  20 years spent modelling himself on the memory of an idol.  Really?  Things get brushed under the carpet as part of a little throwaway joke but... The seeds are there (and have found a more fertile ground in my nihilist ways than this film ever could be).  Perhaps The Rock is this generation's Schwarzenegger?  This excellent article makes a case for a career trajectory that Johnson seems to be matching in terms of media presence and sheer identity.  He'll be starring in Disney's Moana soon enough, lending his voice to, well, a big Samoan Demi-God covered in tattoos.  Seems legit.  Oh, yeah; an inflatable gorilla makes for the best Chekov's gun I've ever seen.

Poem

The tide has gone

Just upped and shipped out.

Probably had enough

of ships, sliding on its surface, oily

and bearing down;

Boring through sheer size.

The beating hearts of ocean life - 

(as if they were the men of the land,

sound out

unobstructed by time that seems

to stop and start anew)

 - carry on

without a word

in sounding deeps

that lead to greater depths.

MESLANGE DES JEUX DE L'ORGUE - Gaspard Corrette

Those of you who know me will recall that I still like to play the organ from time to time.  Truro Cathedral is of course, blessed with the only Cathedral Organ built by 'Father' Henry Willis to still be even approaching its original state (a new detached console and moving the Solo Tuba to the front part of the interior pale in comparison to the rebuilds [and repitchings] other Cathedral organs have faced), but alas, I have not had the pleasure of playing it.  And rightfully so, for an organ scholar in retirement like me!  However, I am allowed access to one of the Cathedral's other instruments - what remains of the organ installed in 1750, in the Parish church of St. Mary in Truro, built by John Byfield II. (NPOR)

Battered and bruised over its 266 year lifespan, I now jump at whatever chance I have to play this noble fragment (the case and I'd say barely 4 of the 19 stops that would have accompanied the  first service of Nine Lessons and Carols remain, in heavily altered form), and hack through my favourite stuff: French Baroque.  Full of character and uncompromising discord, the composers of the French School had a talent for the dramatic, as well as the pastoral, using the 8 church modes to create suites of pieces that were designed to accompany the worship of French liturgy, either as alternating with chanting or a choir, or as pieces to be played at the communion.  Organ building reached a peak (and arguably stagnated), meaning that almost all instruments had the same basic sound available (with according luxuries on lager instruments), so a set of registrational rules were drawn up that once learned, could be applied to any instrument.

The menu that follows comes from the introduction to Gaspard Corrette's Organ Mass, the title of which translates as "Mass on the 8th tone for the Organ, for the usage of Nuns and useful to those who play the Organ" (no, really).  It's great, full of crashing discord and a few indulgent melodies thrown in to the mix of dialogues and Plein Jeu's... But trying to register anything on what's left?  I'll leave the French intact and give the hilarious machine translation but after I'll give as good an account as I can of what actually happens.  Unfortunately, everything starts to sound the same after a while...

Pour le PLEIN JEU: L'on tire les Claviers ensemble, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon de 16 pieds, Bourdon, Montre, Prestant, Doublette, Fourniture et Cymballe, Au Positif, Bourdon, Montre, Prestant, Doublette, Fourniture et Cymballe. 

For FULL GAME, Keyboards together are drawn, In Big Game, 16-foot Bumblebee, Bumblebee, Watch, Prestant, Doublette, Supply and Cymballe, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Watch, Prestant, Doublette, Supply and Cymballe.

Couple the manuals; On the Great, Open Diapason, Stopt Diapason, Principal.  On the Swell, Open Diapason, Stopt Diapason, Principal, Mixture.  Couple both to Pedal (in case of tenths)

Pour la FUGUE: L'on tire les Claviers ensemble, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon, Prestant, Trompette, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre, et le Cromhorne. 

For the RUNNING AWAY, Keyboards together are drawn, In Big Game, Bumblebee, Prestant, Trumpet player, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch, and Cromhorne.

Swell Oboe and SD, couple to pedal (in case of tenths)

Le TRIO A DEUX DESSUS: on pousse les Claviers, la Main droite sur le Positif, et la Main gauche sur le Grand Jeu, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon, Prestant, Montre, Tierce, Grosse Tierce, Nazar, et Quarte de Nazar, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre, le Cromhorne, et le Tremblant Doux. 

The TRIO HAS TWO TOPS, Keyboards, the Right hand on the Positive, and the Left hand on Big Game are pushed,
In Big Game, Bumblebee, Prestant, Watch, Third, big Third, Nazar, and Quarte de Nazar,

In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch, Cromhorne, and Trembling Soft.

Right hand on the Swell and the left hand on the Great.  Sw. SD and Principal and Gt. OD (or Principal an octave down)

Le DUO: On pousse les Claviers, la Main droite sur le Positif, et la Main gauche sur le Grand Jeu, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon de 16 pieds, Bourdon, Prestant, Tierce, Grosse Tierce, Nazar, et Quarte de Nazar, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre, Tierce, et Nazar. 

The DUET, Keyboards, the Right hand on the Positive, and the Left hand on Big Game are pushed, In Big Game, 16-foot Bumblebee, Bumblebee, Prestant, Third, big Third, Nazar, and Quarte de Nazar, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch, Third, and Nazar.

Right hand on Swell and the left hand on the Great.  Sw. Oboe (or OD and Principal), Gt. SD

Le RÉCIT DE NAZAR: Se touche sur le Positif, et l’Acompagnement sur le Grand Jeu, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon, et Montre de quatre pieds, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre et le Nazar. 

The STORY OF NAZAR, feels each other on the Positive, and Acompagnement on Big Game, In Big Game, Bumblebee, and four-foot Watch, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch and Nazar.

Solo on the Great, accompaniment on the Swell - Gt. Principal and Sw. OD and SD

DESSUS DE PETITE TIERCE: Se touche sur le Positif, et l’Acompagnement sur le Grand Jeu, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon, et Prestant, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre, Tierce, et Nazar. 

TOP OF THIRD BABY, feels each other on the Positive, and Acompagnement on Big Game, In the Big Game, Bumblebee, and Prestant, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch, Third, and Nazar.

Solo on the Swell, accompaniment on the Great.  Sw. SD and Mixture, Gr. OD

BASSE DE TROMPETTE: On pousse les Claviers, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon, Prestant, et Trompette, Au Positif, Bourdon, et Prestant ou Montre. 

BASS OF TRUMPET PLAYER, Keyboards are pushed, In Big Game, Bumblebee, Prestant, and Trumpet player, In the Positive, Bumblebee, and Prestant or Watch.

Solo on the Great, accompaniment on the Swell - Gt. Principal and OD, Sw. OD and SD (box half closed)

BASSE DE CROMHORNE: On pousse les Claviers, Au Grand Jeu, Montre et Bourdon, Au Positif, Prestant ou Montre, Nazar, Tierce, Doublette, Larigot, et le Cromhorne, point de Bourdon.

BASS OF CROMHORNE, Keyboards are pushed, In Big Game, Watch and Bumblebee, In the Positive, Prestant or Watch, Nazar, Third, Doublette, Larigot, and Cromhorne, no Bumblebee.

Solo on the Swell - Sw. Oboe and SD, Gt. Dulciana.  Great to Pedal coupled.

CROMHORNE EN TAILLE: Au Grand Jeu, Montre, Bourdon, et les Pedalles de Flûte, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre, et le Cromhorne.

CROMHORNE THERE SHARPENS, In Big Game, Watch, Bumblebee, and the Pedalles de Flûte, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch, and Cromhorne,

Solo on the Swell - Sw. Oboe and SD, Gt. SD.  Great to Pedal coupled.

TIERCE EN TAILLE: Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon de 16 pieds, Montre et Prestant, et les Pedalles de Flûte, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre, Nazar, Tierce, Doublette, et Larigot. 

THIRD THERE SHARPENS, In Big Game, 16-foot Bumblebee, Watch and Prestant, and the Pedalles de Flûte, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch, Nazar, Third, Doublette, and Larigot.

Solo on the Swell - Sw. Mixture, Principal, SD, Gt. SD.  Great to Pedal coupled

FOND D’ORGUE: On tire les Claviers l’un sur l’autre, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon de 16 pieds, Bourdon, Prestant, et Montre, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre. 

BOTTOM Of ORGAN, Keyboards the one at other one are drawn, In Big Game, 16-foot Bumblebee, Bumblebee, Prestant, and Watch, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch.

All 8 foot stops coupled to Great

CONCERT DE FLUTE: On tire les Claviers l’un sur l’autre, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon et Flûte, Au Positif, Bourdon, Flûte et le Tremblant doux. 

CONCERT OF FLUTE, Keyboards the one at other one are drawn, In Big Game, Bumblebee and Flute, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Flute and Trembling soft.

Manuals coupled, Sw. SD, Gt. OD and Flute

DIALOGUE DE VOIX HUMAINE: On ne tire point les Claviers l’un sur l’autre, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon et Flûte, Au Positif, Bourdon, Flûte, la Voix Humaine, et le Tremblant doux. 

HAD TALKS OF VOX HUMANA, Keyboards the one at other one are not drawn, In Big Game, Bumblebee and Flute, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Flute, Vox humana, and Trembling soft.

Solo on Swell - Sw. Oboe, Gt. Dulciana

DIALOGUE A DEUX CHŒURS: On tire les Claviers l’un sur l’autre, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon, Prestant, Trompette, Clairon, et le Cornet, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre et le Cromhorne.

They HAVE TALKS IN TWO CHŒURS, draw Keyboards the one at other one, In Big Game, Bumblebee, Prestant, Trumpet player, Bugle, and the Cone, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch and Cromhorne.

All couplers - Sw. full, Gt. OD, SD, Principal, Ped. OD brought on for final 'Fort Lentement' 

DIALOGUE A TROIS CHŒURS: On tire les Claviers l’un sur l’autre, Au Grand Jeu, Bourdon, Prestant, Trompette, Clairon, Cornet, Nazar, Quarte de Nazar et Tierce, Au Positif, Bourdon, Prestant ou Montre, Cromhorne, Tierce et Nazar, le Troisième Chœur sur le Clavier d’Echo, et le Tremblant à Vent Perdu.

They HAVE TALKS IN THREE CHŒURS, draw Keyboards the one at other one, In Big Game, Bumblebee, Prestant, Trumpet player, Bugle, Cone, Nazar, Quarte de Nazar and Third, In the Positive, Bumblebee, Prestant or Watch, Cromhorne, Third and Nazar,

the Third Chorus on the Keyboard of Echo, and the Trembling with Lost Wind.

Don't even start chummy, you're 'avin a laugh.

Pfff.  Big Game...

If anything, Organ teachers should just hand out a list of machine translated stop lists and let their students have an honest stab at it before telling them the real things.  Imagine, that one day a recital is given by one of these earnest pupils, who through sheer nerves tells their audience that they hope to showcase the beautiful voicing of stops with Monseigneur Couperin's "Top of Third Baby", only realising what they said after a smattering of confused applause and the audience mumbling the word "...baby?"

Trust not too much

Think about it.  Give yourself 30 seconds, and diagnose a problem.  And give me a solution.  Well.  More for me, really.

I've all but let go of writing recently.  They say when will you write again, they say where was that review of Star Wars?  They say isn't it a shame.  They even said you should write a book.

I always wrote as if I was in the centre of a narrative.  My life had a direction, even if I didn't know what it was, because things were happening that were taking me to different places.  Now, not so much.  Or at least, I don't really see it that way any more.  I came to realise that all of my problems were the same problems that everyone faces, give or take, rather than to try and frame it into a narrative where I overcome various challenges as set by some malevolent deity (or Choirmaster), and enjoy a moral and societal feeling of justification.

I had to down tools about 8 months ago, as I thought that things had gotten a little too close for comfort really.  It was impossible to talk about problems without maintaining the usual veneer of almost respectable semi-anonymity, which then got in the way of basically everything else that I wanted to do.  Once upon a time I had grand designs for a fortnightly schedule, but because of one thing or another, I let it go.  Creativity took a back seat to, well, I don't know, the abyss.  My obsession with long form also doesn't help, but neither did the nagging feeling that I was wasting my time with people in particular.  It's not just institutions that close their ranks, after all.  

There's also something about regular work that's upset the ship slightly, but the massive increase in salary and disposable income must make up for that, surely?  (You are not your bank account)  But surely, the major flaws of data entry and answering the telephone leaves me with little in the way of feelings of accomplishment; I regularly attend admin "team" meetings (because everything is a team these days - not a kitchen but a catering team, not a choir but a music team &c &c) where I bring up that really anyone could answer the phone and unjam the photocopier (actually it seems I'm almost the only one who can), only to be told that no I am valued and a special unique snowflake that they couldn't do without and it really doesn't ring true.  It's okay to have someone employed as the monkey who answers the phone, but not okay to make it seem any more than that.

Anyway.  It's about time I came back, somehow.  It's boring, not writing.  And I hate being bored.